Ted<\/strong><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/bloodandporridge.co.uk\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/FT-Als-300x187.png\")
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\u00a9 Hat Trick Productions \/ Channel 4<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n
Scene<\/em><\/strong>: The living room of the Parochial House on Craggy Island during a 1996 episode of Father Ted<\/strong>.\u00a0 The elderly and infirm Bishop Jordan, one of a visiting trio of church dignitaries, has just been explaining how he had a heart attack last year and needs to avoid having sudden surprises and shocks.<\/em><\/p>\nFather Dougal<\/strong> (bellowing at the top of his voice<\/em>): AAAAAHHHHH!<\/p>\nBishop Jordan almost suffers a heart attack on the living room sofa.<\/em><\/p>\nFather Ted<\/strong> (seeing Bishop Jordan\u2019s distress<\/em>): Dougal!\u00a0 What are you doing?!<\/p>\nFather Dougal<\/strong>: Sorry, Ted \u2013 I just remembered Aliens<\/em> is on after the news!<\/p>\nFather Ted<\/strong>: Dougal, for God\u2019s sake!\u00a0 (To the stricken Bishop Jordan, who has almost collapsed off the sofa.<\/em>)\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry, Bishop Jordan!\u00a0 (To Dougal.<\/em>)\u00a0 Did you not hear what he\u2019s saying about his heart?<\/p>\nFather Dougal<\/strong>: I know, but it\u2019s just that it\u2019s the Director\u2019s Cut!\u00a0 Come on everyone, let\u2019s all have a lads\u2019 night in!<\/p>\nFather Ted<\/strong>: Dougal, just shut up!\u00a0 (To Bishop Jordan<\/em>.)\u00a0 Ha-ha.\u00a0 A heart attack?\u00a0 That\u2019s rare enough these days.<\/p>\nBishop O\u2019Neill<\/strong> (trying to help Father Jordan back onto the sofa<\/em>): There were certainly a lot of prayers said for Bishop Jordan \u2013<\/p>\nFather Dougal<\/strong>: I don\u2019t know why we can\u2019t look at Aliens<\/em> \u2013<\/p>\nFather Ted<\/strong>: Dougal!\u00a0 Bishop O\u2019Neill is speaking.<\/p>\nFather Dougal<\/strong>: But\u2026\u00a0 They\u2019d love it, Ted!<\/p>\nFather Ted<\/strong>: No, they wouldn\u2019t!<\/p>\nFather Dougal<\/strong>: But bishops love sci-fi \u2013<\/p>\nFather Ted<\/strong>: DOUGAL!\u00a0 WE ARE NOT WATCHING ALIENS<\/em>!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
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\u00a9 Brandywine Productions \/ 20th<\/sup> Century Fox<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n
Like Dougal in that old episode of Father Ted<\/em>, I still get irrationally excited when I discover that James Cameron\u2019s Aliens<\/em> is about to get another airing on TV.\u00a0 And during the first occasion I watched it, there were a few moments when, like the beleaguered Bishop Jordan, I thought my heart was about to pop.\u00a0 Yes, Aliens<\/em> is a film that gets the adrenalin sluicing through you like almost no other.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
It\u2019s remarkable that the film achieves this when it\u2019s a sequel.\u00a0 One of the Great Laws of the Cinema is that, compared to the original films, sequels are almost always rubbish.\u00a0 Certainly, that law seemed to hold true in the 1980s, when cinema audiences were subjected to such puddings as Halloween II<\/em> (1981), Grease 2<\/em> (1982), Rocky III<\/em> (1982) and IV<\/em> (1985), Jaws 3-D<\/em> (1983), Rambo: First Blood Part II<\/em> (1985) and Rambo III<\/em> (1988), Poltergeist II: The Other Side<\/em> (1986) and Beverley Hills Cop II<\/em> (1987).\u00a0 Oh, and Piranha Part Two: The Spawning<\/em> (1981), which was directed by a certain James Cameron\u2026<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
Aliens<\/em>\u2019 task was particularly daunting.\u00a0 It was to be the follow-up to Ridley Scott\u2019s magnificent haunted-house-in-space movie, 1979\u2019s Alien<\/em>.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
It\u2019s unsurprising that while Cameron was shooting the sequel at Buckinghamshire\u2019s Pinewood Studios in the mid-1980s, he had to put up with a sceptical British crew who were of the opinion that this bearded early-thirty-something Canadian wasn\u2019t fit to lick the boots of the mighty Ridley.\u00a0 Mind you, the contempt was reciprocated by Cameron.\u00a0 A man used to pursuing his vision with the single-minded ruthlessness of The Terminator<\/em> (1984) \u2013 the film that he\u2019d directed between the Piranha<\/em> sequel and the Alien<\/em> sequel \u2013 Cameron was not impressed by the crew\u2019s Great British working practices like stopping every couple of minutes to have a tea-break.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
The resulting movie shows no disrespect to Ridley Scott or the original Alien<\/em>.\u00a0 It simply takes a very different approach to the hideous, slimy, fanged, multi-jawed, acid-blooded title creatures.\u00a0 Whereas Alien<\/em> sets one of them loose in a giant spaceship and Scott milked the scenario for all the clammy, claustrophobic horror it was worth, Cameron unleashes a whole army of them in and around a base on a distant planet and declares out-and-out war on the bastards, courtesy of a well-armed platoon of space marines who\u2019ve journeyed there in the company of Sigourney Weaver\u2019s Ripley, heroine and sole survivor of the first film.\u00a0 \u00a0Yes, there\u2019s clamminess, claustrophobia and horror to be found in Cameron\u2019s vision too, but that doesn\u2019t prevent Aliens<\/em> from also being one of the best action films ever made.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
That\u2019s not to say that Aliens<\/em> is a non-stop rollercoaster from start to finish.\u00a0 Cameron actually takes his time getting his characters to the base (after contact with the 160-strong space colony there is suddenly and mysteriously lost).\u00a0 Wisely, and unlike a lot of directors of scary movies who\u2019ve come since, he gives the audience a chance to get to know, and get to like, his characters.\u00a0 So that when hell does break loose, halfway through the film, we\u2019re genuinely on the edge of our seats because we\u2019re rooting for those characters to survive.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
Cameron does such a good job of it that, 38 years on, I still know those characters like they\u2019re dear old friends.\u00a0 There\u2019s Michael Biehn\u2019s reliable Corporal Hicks, who packs an old pump-action shotgun alongside his space-age weaponry (\u201cI like to keep this handy\u2026 for close encounters\u201d) and who finds himself in the unexpected position of platoon leader after the aliens\u2019 first onslaught wipes half of it out.\u00a0 There\u2019s Lance Henriksen\u2019s Bishop, the regulation android whom Ripley \u2013 mindful of what happened in the first movie \u2013 is extremely wary of; though after he\u2019s saved her and saved the other surviving humans three or four times (even after he gets ripped in half) she comes to the realisation that he\u2019s a good, if synthetic, bloke.<\/p>\n
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\u00a9 Brandywine Productions \/ 20th<\/sup> Century Fox<\/em><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/bloodandporridge.co.uk\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/BP-in-As-300x169.jpg\")
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\u00a9 Brandywine Productions \/ 20th<\/sup> Century Fox<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n
And there\u2019s the motor-mouthed Private Hudson, played by the late, great Bill Paxton, who gets the film\u2019s best lines.\u00a0 This is both before the aliens show up, when he\u2019s a swaggering, show-offy git \u2013 \u201cHey Ripley, don\u2019t worry.\u00a0 Me and my squad of ultimate badasses will protect you\u2026\u00a0 We got nukes, we got knives, we got sharp sticks!\u201d \u2013 and after they show up, when he\u2019s a quivering, whiny git \u2013 \u201cHey, maybe you haven\u2019t been keeping up on current events but we just got our asses kicked!\u201d<\/p>\n
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But Aliens<\/em> is no simple testosterone-fest.\u00a0 Dougal in Father Ted<\/em> might have earmarked it for a \u2018lads\u2019 night in\u2019 but it\u2019s also, subversively, a chick-flick.\u00a0 At its heart are no fewer than four powerful female characters.\u00a0 There\u2019s the splendid Sigourney Weaver, of course, back in the role of Ripley \u2013 though it\u2019s in Aliens<\/em> that both Weaver and Ripley properly achieve the status of cinematic icons.\u00a0 There\u2019s Carrie Henn as Newt, the waif-like little girl who\u2019s the colony\u2019s only survivor and who, gradually, awakens Ripley\u2019s maternal instincts.\u00a0 While Ripley spends the original movie reacting to and mainly running from the horrors around her, it\u2019s thanks to Newt that in Aliens<\/em> she becomes increasingly proactive and ends up running at<\/em> them.\u00a0 Admittedly, that\u2019s when she\u2019s armed with a M41A Pulse Rifle \/ M240 Flamethrower.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
And let\u2019s not forget the impressive Private Vasquez, played by Jenette Goldstein, who\u2019s more than a match than any man in her platoon.\u00a0 \u201cAll right,\u201d she snarls at one point, \u201cwe got seven canisters of CM-20.\u00a0 I say we roll them in there and nerve-gas the whole f***in\u2019 nest.\u201d\u00a0 And when she\u2019s not shooting down aliens, she\u2019s shooting down Hudson\u2019s bullshit, as happens in the following famous exchange: \u201cHey Vasquez.\u00a0 Have you ever been mistaken for a man?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u00a0 Have you?\u201d<\/p>\n
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The film\u2019s final trump card also takes female form: the Alien Queen.\u00a0 Here, Cameron combines the design of the original alien, by the Swiss artist H.R. Giger, with the concepts of an egg-laying queen termite and a tyrannosaurus rex.\u00a0 He creates a twenty-foot foe of terrifying savagery, strength and tenacity.\u00a0 And when she comes bearing down on Ripley at the movie\u2019s climax, it\u2019s clear to the audience that this is the showdown between the Big Bad Mommas.\u00a0 By this time, the Queen has seen her whole hellish brood wiped out.\u00a0 Meanwhile, Ripley is determined to defend what\u2019s left of her<\/em> family \u2013 Newt and the now-incapacitated Hicks and Bishop \u2013 to the death.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
What more can I say?\u00a0 Aliens<\/em> remains exhilarating nearly four decades on.\u00a0 Slowly and inexorably, the first half of the film winches you in.\u00a0 Thereafter, you find yourself strapped into a thrill-ride there\u2019s no escape from.\u00a0 In the words of Private Hudson: \u201cWe\u2019re on an express elevator to hell, going down!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
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\u00a9 Brandywine Productions \/ 20th<\/sup> Century Fox<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u00a9 Brandywine Productions \/ 20th Century Fox I see a new Alien movie has just been released.\u00a0 Entitled Alien: Romulus and directed by Fede Alvarez, it\u2019s had variable reviews \u2013 for instance, Peter Bradshaw gave it two stars in the Guardian, Kim Newman gave it three stars in Sci-fi Now and John Nugent … <\/p>\n
Continue reading “God save the queen”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[63,3974,1063,606,3980,3973,3975,2546,1062,3979,3976,323,3978,3977,1849,1485,57,3126,602],"class_list":["post-2988","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-films","tag-alien","tag-alien-romulus","tag-aliens","tag-bill-paxton","tag-carrie-henn","tag-father-ted","tag-fede-alvarez","tag-h-r-giger","tag-james-cameron","tag-jenette-goldstein","tag-john-nugent","tag-kim-newman","tag-lance-henrikson","tag-michael-biehn","tag-michael-fassbender","tag-peter-bradshaw","tag-ridley-scott","tag-sigourney-weaver","tag-the-terminator"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodandporridge.co.uk\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2988","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodandporridge.co.uk\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodandporridge.co.uk\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodandporridge.co.uk\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodandporridge.co.uk\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2988"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/bloodandporridge.co.uk\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2988\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2991,"href":"https:\/\/bloodandporridge.co.uk\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2988\/revisions\/2991"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodandporridge.co.uk\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2988"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodandporridge.co.uk\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2988"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodandporridge.co.uk\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2988"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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